Oh this song, I wish it had come out years ago when I was being abused verbally and physically at times, You know what it all happened that way, the I'm sorry and the too many to count phone calls and that weakness, I just felt helpless, like it was easier to stay then leave and I know so many women that go through this same thing. I am listening as I write this blog, and I do remember that but you know what I don't live there anymore. No-body's at my door at 3am and my phone aint ringing off the wall anymore, unfortunately I have a son to explain this all to when he grows up but he is a miracle my son, he gave me strength I didn't know I had. Just the other day he flaired up at me,(my ex) and I had the strength to say, you will NEVER abuse me in anyway again and I hung up, it felt so good. He said he'd never do it again, well he went on to do it 2 his wife and she FINALLY left, where was this song then, anyway I emailed it to her and she said just as I did, I don't live there anymore. Now we have 2 little boys to raise with him and he is a loving father but the day he abuses my son in any way, he will never do it again. I am VERY happily married and this all for me was 7-8 years ago for me and I know he hasn't changed because he tried to control me, even now, the guilt, if your her friend your not mine and you know what a good friend never asks you to choose. My husband Danny is "My Sunday" and our new song is "Do You Know", wow, powerful album. Thanks to Jessica and the other writers of this album thank you so much, I have always used music to help me through bad days and different emotions in life. I can't listen to alot of songs, not just by Jessica but one other VERY powerful song in my life has been one of Reba's "If I had Only Known" I cry every time I hear it. It reminds me of my grandma who was so many things to me, she was my rock, my safe place, I was so close to her, I was closer to her than my own mother, anyway I was living in Jacksonville Florida and my mom called, it was early in the morning and my mom is the biggest penny pincher known to man, and long distance was expensive in 1994, so her calling set off alarms and she asked me if I was alone, and my husband's best friend and his dad had arrived the previous day so they were home with me, anyway she said your grandma died this morning, and I had 4 grandma's at this time, she said which one and I felt the life sucked right out of me, I couldn't breath, it was pain I had never felt and never want to feel again, I am from Kansas and my husband was in the Navy and I had no family with me, she was my dads mother, my sister had to drive 30 miles to my dads house and tell him. I had talked to my grandma the night before, she was in the hospital to have a cyst removed from her breast, simple procedure really, I did not tell her that I loved her for the first time, excluding the times I hung up on her when she made me mad, so that morning I called my grandpa and told him to tell her before she went into surgery, her last words to me where I'll talk to you again sis, she called me sis. Gosh that song just came on too from my itunes, wow anyway! I turned my head and she slipped away, it may have been 14 years ago but this song, oh I'm crying now , sorry for yammering just need to vent, I still cry alot and miss her so much, I may never get over it. I go out to the cemetery and tell her all my problems and lye on her headstone and fall asleep at times, grandpa is there now to, Anyway life is precious so be sure to always live your days with no regrets, I regretted not telling her that I loved her that night, even though I know she knew I did, I just felt so bothered by not saying it that night, my husband was gripping at me about the phone bill and didn't want me to call her back I kept the phone bill for years that had my last phone call to her listed, this really doesn't have anything to do with Jessica, just my love of country music and how therapeutic it is to listen to, it can pep you up or allow you to grieve, just about any emotion, country music has it..
Remember That
Oh this song, I wish it had come out years ago when I was being abused verbally and physically at times, You know what it all happened that way, the I'm sorry and the too many to count phone calls and that weakness, I just felt helpless, like it was easier to stay then leave and I know so many women that go through this same thing. I am listening as I write this blog, and I do remember that but you know what I don't live there anymore. No-body's at my door at 3am and my phone aint ringing off the wall anymore, unfortunately I have a son to explain this all to when he grows up but he is a miracle my son, he gave me strength I didn't know I had. Just the other day he flaired up at me,(my ex) and I had the strength to say, you will NEVER abuse me in anyway again and I hung up, it felt so good. He said he'd never do it again, well he went on to do it 2 his wife and she FINALLY left, where was this song then, anyway I emailed it to her and she said just as I did, I don't live there anymore. Now we have 2 little boys to raise with him and he is a loving father but the day he abuses my son in any way, he will never do it again. I am VERY happily married and this all for me was 7-8 years ago for me and I know he hasn't changed because he tried to control me, even now, the guilt, if your her friend your not mine and you know what a good friend never asks you to choose. My husband Danny is "My Sunday" and our new song is "Do You Know", wow, powerful album. Thanks to Jessica and the other writers of this album thank you so much, I have always used music to help me through bad days and different emotions in life. I can't listen to alot of songs, not just by Jessica but one other VERY powerful song in my life has been one of Reba's "If I had Only Known" I cry every time I hear it. It reminds me of my grandma who was so many things to me, she was my rock, my safe place, I was so close to her, I was closer to her than my own mother, anyway I was living in Jacksonville Florida and my mom called, it was early in the morning and my mom is the biggest penny pincher known to man, and long distance was expensive in 1994, so her calling set off alarms and she asked me if I was alone, and my husband's best friend and his dad had arrived the previous day so they were home with me, anyway she said your grandma died this morning, and I had 4 grandma's at this time, she said which one and I felt the life sucked right out of me, I couldn't breath, it was pain I had never felt and never want to feel again, I am from Kansas and my husband was in the Navy and I had no family with me, she was my dads mother, my sister had to drive 30 miles to my dads house and tell him. I had talked to my grandma the night before, she was in the hospital to have a cyst removed from her breast, simple procedure really, I did not tell her that I loved her for the first time, excluding the times I hung up on her when she made me mad, so that morning I called my grandpa and told him to tell her before she went into surgery, her last words to me where I'll talk to you again sis, she called me sis. Gosh that song just came on too from my itunes, wow anyway! I turned my head and she slipped away, it may have been 14 years ago but this song, oh I'm crying now , sorry for yammering just need to vent, I still cry alot and miss her so much, I may never get over it. I go out to the cemetery and tell her all my problems and lye on her headstone and fall asleep at times, grandpa is there now to, Anyway life is precious so be sure to always live your days with no regrets, I regretted not telling her that I loved her that night, even though I know she knew I did, I just felt so bothered by not saying it that night, my husband was gripping at me about the phone bill and didn't want me to call her back I kept the phone bill for years that had my last phone call to her listed, this really doesn't have anything to do with Jessica, just my love of country music and how therapeutic it is to listen to, it can pep you up or allow you to grieve, just about any emotion, country music has it..
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Always a Fan, Shannon