The day were were all at the park, the day of, "kiss me stupid," I was standing by the mail boxes as you walked by seething mad about your man being stolen from you by, "evil Jessica."

If you call someone a name like that then you will only invoke that reality upon yourself.

You said you would get me out of this, did you not? Perhaps, that is not what I need? Maybe what I need is something like a cheer leader in my corner giving me encouragement to figure it out?

Now, I will go back even farther to a certain grassy field across the street to the east of the Church office building. We were caught up in one of our laughing spells and Jessica walked up to us and said, "I'm so jealous." In the scriptures it teaches that God is a jealous God, but that simply is not true. Jealousy is a weakness that involves coveting that which doesn't belong to you so much so that a person seeks to posess it. Jessica senior is guilty of coveting something that doesn't belong to her, and then she attempted to take it. After I was kicked out of Utah, because we got along so well, that certain people thought forsure we would have sex outside of marriage, Jessica senior became Shawna my baby-sitter. At that time my memories of Utah and you were lost to me. I began to make plans with her about marriage, I was her 5 year old boy-friend. I remember it very clearly she asked me to give her my heart and I told her no. God, the Eternal Father, told me not to do it, and he wouldn't even let me tell her that he was the one telling me not to, so when she started questing me about the whole thing I told her that I couldn't and I didn't have a reason. She got very upset with me and literally pushed me away from her following that experience.

My memories are still being reconstructed as I remember more and more detail about what happened trying to piece everything together. I, now, take you forward from that time to a time in elementary school when you and I visited on the play ground by the teatherball pole. You told me that I was the funnest guy ever and you told me not to but you wanted me to kiss you on the cheek and then you cried and saying that no one in the world loves me more then you do. I remember that after you told me that I was the funnest guy ever that I asked you, "So what happened to me?" I remember that you thought that was pretty funny and you said, "See what I mean."

See part 2 for the rest.